My first day

My first day with the eating experiment. Got up and didn't check my email right away, when I did I found that Liz had already sent me emails to get started. Unusual feeling this loosing control but in a way I feel two things. Nervous/afraid and longing. This is crazy, I'm nervous and afraid that I will make mistakes and Liz will get mad at me. But at the same time if feel almost a sexual longing to be treated like I'm not capable. She is already on me about thing she wrote. I've been asking her questions but she has answered more subjectively than objectively. I feel like I am going to fall apart if I am not guided through everything. I need to go shopping or she is going to get pissed.